Funny Quotes Laughing So Hard and Hilarious Memes “It’s such a funny thing when you see your daughter transitioning from your baby, your little girl, to suddenly being a young woman. If you’re not looking for it, you can miss it, Lily-Rose is on that road already, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Johnny Depp
Funny quotes and sayings “Laughter heals all wounds, and that’s one thing that everybody shares. No matter what you’re going through, it makes you forget about your problems. I think the world should keep laughing. Good relationship. It’s an immense achievement when you can move from your thinking that your partner is merely an idiot to thinking that they are that wonderfully complex thing called a loveable idiot. And often that means having a little bit of a sense of humor about their flaws. Alain de Botton, We collected the best 45-minute Funny Quotes Laughing for you.
Here are funny quotes to make you laugh:
- “I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
- “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.”
- “I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'”
- “I’m not lazy; I’m in energy-saving mode.”
- “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.”
- “I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.”
- “I’m not a smart aleck; I’m just sarcastic with a side of humor.”
- “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.”
- “I’m not addicted to chocolate. We’re just in a committed relationship.”
- “I’m not clumsy. It’s just the floor hates me, tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.”
#1. Where does all my money go? It’s like, hocus pocus I’m broken.”
#2. Sometimes I wish I was a bird… so I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads..”
#3. Hey. If someone treats you like crap, just remember there is something wrong with them, not you. Normal people don’t go around destroying other human beings.”
#4. Why do we feel safe under blankets? It’s not like a murderer will come in thinking, #I’m gonna kill-ahh damn! She’s under a blanket…”
#5. A beautiful heart can bring things into your life that all the money in the world couldn’t obtain.”
#6. My goal for 2018 is to accomplish the goals of 2017 which I should have done in 2016 because I promised them in 2015 and planned them in 2014.”
#7. My prince is not coming on a white horse but on a turtle that’s why it is taking so long for us to be together.”
#8. Life is so ironic. It takes sadness to know what happiness is, noise to appreciate silence, and absence to value presence.”
#9. A special friendship hug. Sending out a hug to all my amazing friends and wonderful family members. Pass on this friendship hug, it might just make someone’s day.”
#10. Funny quotes laughing memes “I reached the age where happy hour is a nap.”
#11. Never steal. The government hates competition.”
#12. Revenge? Nah, I’m too lazy. I’m going to sit here and let karma screw you!”
Funny Quotes Laughing
#13. There is nothing at all wrong with being a larger more curvaceous woman. It’s a woman. It’s just nature’s way of saying OMG you’re so bloody good I made more of you.”
#14. I love my toilet. We’ve been through a lot of shit together.”
#15. Funny Quotes Laughing quotes about life “Screw the padded room give me a trampoline floor with bubble-wrapped walls and Velcro ceiling”
#16. I feel like some of you should thank me for the stuff I don’t post.”
#17. At my age I’ve – seen it all – done it all – heard it all I just can’t remember it all!!”
#18. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m flexible.”
#19. What is #Grammatude” you ask?? Mess with my grandchildren and you will find out!!”
#20. I am not insane… my mother had me tested… however, have you met my sister?”
#21. Please be patient. Even a toilet can handle only one asshole at a time.”
#22. So the cops came to my house today and said your dog was chasing someone on a bike I said #My dog doesn’t have a bike!”
#23. Funny Quotes Laughing sayings “I can relate: Parents say. #We’re leaving!” then they end up socializing for an extra hour..”
#24. Hurt means you’re going to feel pain. Hurt my best friend and you’re going to need an ambulance. Hurt my family. I’m going to need a shovel.”
#25. When I look back on my life, I see pain, mistakes, and heartache. Looking in the mirror, I see strength, learned lessons, and pride in myself.”
#26. The best thing about me? I laugh at my jokes so you don’t have to. But you probably will because I’m hilarious”
#27. fstrong>Funny quotes on laughing “I never wish death upon anybody who wrongs me. I wish sudden, explosive diarrhea while on a date, with frequent sneezes.”
#28. I look back on my life and I’m extremely impressed that I’m still alive”
#29. I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then you walk into a pole”
#30. Funny minions quote “Can’t you see it? You’re one in a minion.”
#31. Life’s too short to wake up in a bad mood. I save mine for when I get to work.”
#32. Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant… so chocolate is a salad.”
#33. Sometimes life bites you in the ass. But thankfully I have enough padding there to take the hit.”
#34. Don’t underestimate me. I can go from lady to crazy in two seconds.”
#35. I’m going to try and act like a normal, happy, and mentally stable person. Wish me luck!”
#36. Funny quotes about laughing “When I was younger, $20 felt like $100, now $20 feel like $1.”
#37. I love people who text back instantly.”
#38. Do you ever wake up in the morning and just think ‘No, I’m not ready for this shit’”
#39. Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything is nice. Some girls are made of sarcasm, wine, and everything fine.”
#40. I made it through the day without beating anyone with a chair. I’d say my people skills are improving!”
#41. No matter how old I get, I think I will always have to mentally sing the ABCs to see what letter comes next.”
#42. Looking at your best friend and saying, #I’ll do it if you do it.”
#43. If you have on friend who understands you on your level of crazy… One friend is all you will ever need.”
#44. At my funeral, I am giving everyone a stun gun… the last person standing gets all my stuff.”
#45. Funny Quotes Laughing said about life “The word #bae” is Danish for #poop”. You’re welcome!”
Photo Credits: Pinterest
Short funny quotes “Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter. Carol Burnett
