Inspirational Funny Quotes About Life, Love, and Success “Never let hard lessons harden your heart; the hard lessons of life are meant to make you better, not bitter.” Cheer up with these funny quotes about happiness. Clever, brilliant, and stupid! Everyone wants your happiness. Don’t let them take it!!
Funny Love Quotes That Surely Make You Laugh “Life is not about how you survive the storm, it’s about how you dance in the rain. some people, I love to stay away from others, and some I’d just love to punch.”
Funny Inspirational Quotes Celebrating Life & Success “The challenge is to stay cool enough to handle the pressure at the moment so that you can succeed in the future.” Need a good laugh? Check out these 65 funny quotes to help you get through today. These funny quotes will seriously make you laugh out loud!
Inspirational Funny Quotes
funny inspirational quotes about life and happiness “Successful and unsuccessful people do not vary greatly in their abilities.”
1. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions.”
2. “Only trust people who like big butts …They cannot lie.”
3. “I wish people came with a 30-second trailer. So I can see what I’m getting myself into.”
4. “If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
5. “People who wonder whether the glass is half empty or half full are missing the point. The glass is refillable.”
6. “Being called weird is like being called limited edition. Meaning you’re something people don’t see that often. Remember that.”
7. “I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.”
8. “People wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, all life for happiness.”
9. When people tell me they’re “spiritual” I’m like “demons are spirits too… Be more specific.”
10. “Never let anyone treat you like regular glue. You’re glitter glue.”
11. “I am going to succeed because I am crazy enough to think that I can.”
12. “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.”
13. “I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there is a small hole in the bag somewhere.”
14. “Courage is knowing it might hurt, and doing it anyway. Stupidity is the same. And that’s why life is hard.”
15. “Everyone deserves second chances, but not for the same mistake.”
16. “Cancel my subscription because I am done with your issues.”
17. “If the words don’t add up, its usually because the truth wasn’t included in the equation.”
18. Coffee is so confident. It’s just a wet bean and it’s like, “I’m worth $5.75, and you need me, bitch.”
19. “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
20. “some people will only like you if you fit into their box. Don’t be afraid to shove that box up their ass.”
21. “I still remember the days I prayed for the things I have now.”
22. “Being a good person does not mean you have to put up with other people’s crap.”
23. “Everything comes at a cost. Just what are you willing to pay for it?”
24. “4 things we can not recover in life: Words after they’re said. Moments after they’re missed. Actions after they’re done. Time after it’s gone.”
25. “I don’t understand why people have to “get ready” for bed. I’m always ready for bed.”
26. “I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there is a small hole in the bag somewhere.”
27. “The bags under my eyes are chanel.”
28. “Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.”
29. “Its funny how nobody notices what you do until you don’t do it.”
30. “I am not lazy I am on energy saving mode.”
31. “I was taught to think before I act, so if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured-I’ve thought about it, and am confident in my decision.”
32. “Fuck em’they need to talk about you to get attention because if they spoke about themselves no one would give a fuck.”
33. “The biggest lie I tell myself is, “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it”.”
34. “A baby girl arrives and just like that everything changes. The world gets bigger, hearts grow fuller & life means more because she’s in it.”
35. “I don’t sugar coat shit, I’m not willy wonka.”
36. “Monday tuesday wednesday Thursday blink Monday.”
37. “Buckle up buttercup you just flipped my bitchswitch”
38. “If you’re absent during my struggle, don’t expect to be present during my success.”
39. “I don’t like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else about what comes out my mouth.”
40. “Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.”
41. “If your path is more difficult, it’s because your calling is higher.”
42. “Well apparently rock bottom has a basement.”
43. “It’s so nice when toxic people stop talking to you. It’s like the trash took itself out.”
44. “I just finished three books today, and believe it or not, that’s a lot of coloring.”
45. “Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.”
46. “The first 50 years of childhood are always the hardest.”
47. “Being happy is a very personal thing and it really has nothing to do with anyone else.”
48. “When nothing goes right… Go left.”
49. Apparently “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “what motivates you?””\
50. “Alexa, skip to Friday.”
51. “I’m just one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.”
52. “Be the energy you want to attract.”
53. “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”
54. “A good marriage isn’t something you find, it’s something you make, and you have to keep on making it.”
55. “The human body is 90% water so we’re basically just cucumbers with anxiety.”
56. “what doesn’t kill you fucks you up mentally.”
57. “The heat thing about me…I’m a limited edition, there are no copies. And I bet right now you are thinking ‘thank god’.”
58. “The first five days after the weekend are the hardest…”
59. “My alone time is sometimes for your safety.”
60. “Everything is figureoutable.”
61. “The longer you live in the past, the less future you have to enjoy.”
62. “Sometimes we expect too much from others, because we would be willing to do that much for them.”
63. “Sometimes I wish I were a nicer person but then I laugh and continue my day.”
64. “Never let anyone treat you like a yellow starburst. You are a pink starburst.”
65. “You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.”
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