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Are you looking for the best short and funny quotes? Look no further! Here is our huge list of quotes that can make you laugh.

With quotes from famous comedians like Betty White, Joan Rivers, Lucille Ball, and Phyllis Diller, here are the best laugh-out-loud quotes to enjoy anytime you need a laugh. Looking for more inspiration? Short funny quotes and humorous sayings about life lessons, love, relationships, work, achievement, family, and friends.

Short Funny Quotes

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” – Mark Twain

“Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi

“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” – Confucius

“With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. Eleanor Roosevelt

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” – Alice Walker

Short Funny Quotes About Life

“Instructions for living a life. Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.” – Mary Oliver

“It is not the employer who pays the wages. Employers only handle the money. It is the customer who pays the wages.” – Henry Ford

“It’s not the failures that define us so much as how we respond. Shane Parrish

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” – Anatole France

“You don’t want to look like your heroes, you want to see like your heroes.” – Austin Kleon

“Every business is successful exactly to the extent that it does something others cannot.” – Peter Thiel

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Short Funny Quotes And Sayings

“All we are given are possibilities-to make ourselves one thing or another.” – José Ortega Y Gasset

“The best thing I did was choose the right heroes.” – Warren Buffett

“I began learning long ago that those who are happiest are those who do the most for others.” – Booker T. Washington

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A. A. Milne

“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

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Short Funny Quotes For Work

“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates

“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.” — Les Dawson

“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen

“No man goes before his time — unless his boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx

“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost

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Short Funny Quotes About Life Lessons

“Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!” – Billy Connolly

“My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.” – Caroline Rhea

“A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.” – Don Marquis

“A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’” – Claude Pepper

“Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.” – Cullen Hightower

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Funny Images and Quotes