Top 48 Funny Quotes Of The Day and Funny Pictures
Funny Quotes Of The Day and Funny Pictures “Call me crazy, but I love to see other people happy and succeeding. Don’t be disappointed if people refuse to help you. Remember the words of Einstein: “I am thankful to all those who said NO. Because of them, I did it myself”. Best funny memes & funny pictures.
Most Funny Quotes “Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care.” Ever Best Sarcasm quotes about life sayings “My EX had one very annoying habit. Breathing.”
Funny Quotes
“Laughing is the best medicine. But if you’re laughing for no reason, you may need medicine.”
“I remember years ago when all I wanted to be was older www I was needed wrong!!!”
“I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet… I get hungry.”
“I hate it when you I’m not fat. Have to be nice to someone you want to throw a brick at.”
“I’m just much easier to see.”
“Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.”
“If you see me eating a salad in a restaurant, I’ve been kidnapped and I’m trying to signal you.”
“I will never be over the hill. I’m too darn tired to climb it!”
“If people are talking about you behind your back, then just fart!”
“I said, maybe the reason you have so many problems with everyone is that you’re the problem. She didn’t like that.”
Funny Quotes Of The Day
“I need three cups of coffee to have enough energy to leave the house to get a cup of coffee.”
“One day or day one. It’s your decision.”
“Sometimes, I use big words I don’t always fully understand to make myself sound more photosynthesis.”
“You could take your kids to a restaurant or cut out the middle man & just spill a drink, throw crayons under the table & light $40 on fire”
“My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.”
“Nothing starts my day off quite like an inspirational status! May your day go fast, your socks match, and your underwear does not ride up your ass.”
“Just for fun, Walmart is the only place you can get a haircut, eye exam, ice cream, manicure, tires for your car’ and witness a real-life “what not to wear” episode.”
“Quotes of the day good thoughts positive or negative are habits of thoughts that have a very strong influence on life roger smith”
“That moment when you walk into a spider web and suddenly turn into a karate master. Hey, cat! What?”
“Just stop because the more you take the stupider you sound.”
Funny Pic of The Day
“In the not too distant future, youtube, Twitter & Facebook will merge to form one giant, idiotic, a super time-wasting website called: “youtwitface” laugh to your neat’s”
“Every day I arrive at work with good intentions and a great attitude. Then idiots happen.”
“Admit it at some point in your life you’ve tried to see if you have superpowers.”
“I’ve found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes.”
“I love you more than coffee (but please don’t make me prove it”
“His insomnia was so bad that he could not sleep during office hours. – Arthur Baer”
“Wisdom of the day: never approach a bull from the front; a donkey from behind; and an angry wife from any direction!”
“If it’s the thought that counts then I should probably be in jail”
“People should just mind their own business,” is probably the funniest thing I’ve ever read on Facebook.”
“A poem about work: coffee blah blah blah drive home wine”
Funny Daily Quotes
“I had the right to remain silent… But I didn’t have the ability”
“My brain is like the Bermuda triangle… Information goes in and then it’s never found again.”
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it. Bob Hope”
“My brain is like the Bermuda triangle. Information: goes I and it’s never found again.”
“I love you more than coffee (but please don’t make me prove it.”
“Work is just something I’m doing until winning the lottery.”
“Dear stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.”
“That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto-correct is like, I’ve got nothing, man!”
“I had the right to remain silent… But I didn’t have the ability.”
“Quotes of the day nothing is too small to know. And nothing is too big to attempt.”
Funny Positive Quotes Day
“I hate when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.”
“That awkward moment when you still can’t understand someone after they have repeated themselves about five times.”
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they are. Will Ferrell”
“Every day I arrive at work with good intentions and a great attitude. Then idiots happen.”
“I wish I lived in a world where mosquitoes www would suck fat instead of blood.”
“Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I feel it all the time.”
“Parenting hack: when punishing your kids, don’t take away their electronics. Just take their charger and watch the fear in their eyes as they use it less and less while the battery slowly dies.”
“Rule your mind or it will rule you.”
Best Sarcastic Quotes Ever
“I made a huge to-do list for today. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.”
“Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he’s supposed to be doing at that moment.” Robert Benchley Kandy”
“Today is the day, I can feel it today I will catch that tail.”
“If you think you are jog small to make a difference. Try sleeping with a mosquito.”
“I just wanted you to know that somebody cares not me, somebody does. I’m not special I am just a limited edition”
“Good things are going to happen.”
“Everything is funny, as long as so you’re like… It’s happening to somebody else.”
Funny Quotes and Images
2. Inspirational Quotes life “Get out of your way
5. inspirational quotes for life “Go where you are most alive.”
8. Good funny Inspirational quotes about life I’m surrounded by Idiots
“When you are evolving to your higher self, the road seems lonely. But you’re simply shedding energies that no longer match the frequency of your destiny.”
“Ask yourself if what you’re doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow.”
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“He said, there are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live.”
“I can cut you off yet still pray for you & wish you much success. I don’t have a spiteful bone in my body. That’s how i was raised & i won’t let anyone or any circumstances change my character.”
